When I was a little girl, bedtime was imagination time. After my mom tucked me in, my mind would take me to all kinds of places. I had a Holly Hobbie doll (which is now considered vintage, but let’s not talk about that!) who came alive after dark. She was about two feet tall and I loved her. Many nights I was her mommy and she was my little girl. We played out all kinds of scenarios.
I remember one night laying there thinking about how I would be a real mommy one day. I wondered what it would be like to be a grown-up. I tried to imagine my life and what I might look like. One specific thought has stayed with me, which I laugh about today. It went something like this, “I wonder what it will be like to be thirty years old. Thirty. That is SO old. I guess it doesn’t matter. Thirty is forever away and I’ll be old, so it really won’t matter what life is like for me.”
You’re laughing, right?
Let me tell you about thirty (which has now come and gone). Life still matters. My world at that time revolved around our two young boys. Literally. My entire world was wrapped up in them. I made sure they were eating properly, but didn’t do the same for myself. I was careful to make sure they had time with friends to play and enjoy life. In the process, though, I neglected my relationships and isolated myself. I prayed with them and sang to them and read Bible stories to them. But, I didn’t take the time to build my relationship with the Lord.
In other words, I lost myself in my 30’s.
I think one of the most difficult parts of being a parent and spouse is remembering that you are an individual also—an individual who needs to stay healthy–an individual who requires relationships—and, most importantly, an individual who needs intimacy with God.
We cannot realize the potential God has planned for us if we are not first and foremost spending time talking and walking with Him. If we will submit ourselves to Him, giving Him full authority over our lives, everything else will fall into place. And, we will be better at loving our spouse, taking care of children, and being a friend.
If you can relate to me and you somehow have lost yourself, don’t be discouraged. Spend time in prayer and with God’s Word. Make a friend who you can trust (friends make such a difference). Eat healthy and exercise. You will find that you can then be a better mommy or daddy (let’s face it, you’ll be a better person!).
Maybe you were like me and lost yourself, but you have worked through the maze and found your way back. I’d love to hear your story. I am a firm believer that we grow through each other’s stories and everyone has a story.
Matthew 6:33 (AMP)
But seek (aim at and strive after) first of all His kingdom and His righteousness (His way of doing and being right), and then all these things taken together will be given you besides.
Lisa Bull sees her life as a journey along God’s divine plan. While considering herself an expert on nothing, she enjoys laughing and has made “choosing joy” her motto. Lisa has experienced God’s unfailing love and grace in her life and wants nothing more than for others to enjoy that same gift in their lives.
Lisa is the daughter and granddaughter of ministers. She has multiple relatives in ministry on both sides of her father’s family including several pastors, pastor’s wives, and missionaries. In fact, ministry in her maternal grandmother’s family can be traced back several generations. She loves being a wife and mother of two terrific young men.